Is He Your Boyfriend or Your Boss Baby?
Imagine moving in with your boyfriend, only to realise that he skipped the level of adulting, and now you’re confused, if buying him flowers on the first date was a mistake because you thought it would be cute and why should girls have all the fun moment, but it’s a big UNO REVERSE on your face. Because now you’ve got a Man-Child situation to deal with.
You come home from a long day at work and you want to order a subway but this man can’t decide what to eat so now you gotta pinkie ponkie his food options while he’s throwing tantrums like a two year old?! This guy wants “Princess Treatment” but what does he bring to the table? He shows up on date wearing a hoodie. And now you’re confused again, Where did all the grown-ups go? Why are men acting like this? Why have some men failed at adulting so badly? And more importantly, how did you end up in a relationship where you’re confused if you have a boyfriend or just a very large toddler?
The Psychology of the Pouty Prince:
Why is it happening? Let’s look at the psyche of your Boss Baby.
- We all yearn for love. And beneath all the machoness these men who act more whiny, need unconditional nurturing. It’s not that your man is lazy, he just wants you to pamper him.
That if he isn’t misogynistic or else he’s reduced your worth to the kitchen.
- Men just think that they are important and maybe your man is diagnosed with man character syndrome. In which case you’ll always be the supporting character who rarely gets their due. And dare you try to flip the script here or you’ll have to deal with a lot of tantrums and passive-aggressive exasperated sighs.
- Adulting is tough. Real tough. So you may find some men avoid the conflicted world using things like, you know, playstations. Because, for our Man-Child emotional avoidance is way easy. “Why should I deal with my own anxiety when I can get you to deal with it?” they seem to believe.
- Men just expect others to do their dishes and pick their socks (plus all that emotional baggage) They’re just so used to being helpless and entitled so they also expect to be treated like royalty for just being.
How to Handle a Man-Child (and Stay Sane):
- Instead of just giving in, and doing it for love. Let him know where he goes wrong with a mix of empathy and absurdity. Don’t make him feel like a toddler but let him know that you are not his mother.
- Slowly and gently, tell him everything that bothers you. Gently not because you need to avoid a meltdown but also because, honestly, he might not even know he’s doing it.
- Start setting boundaries. Help him do things, he’s your partner. But you don’t have to do it for him, you’re not his servant.
- Men love to tell you “how to” use that against them. Ask them the right way to load the dishwasher and then let them do it, hoping eventually they realise.
- And if none of this works, you need to pack your bags or his, even better.
Remember, you’re not a therapist, a maid, or a mother to your partner. You’re a human being with your own needs. While all is fair in love, losing your sanity sounds a bit expensive. Do not ever lose yourself while you’re massaging your partner’s ego. If all your attempts to save the relationship go to fail, it’s better you accept that they failed, and move on. Remember, even princesses have to learn to put on their own shoes eventually or, they should.
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Articulated By Priyanshi Khrawade, 3rd year Student at Media and communication, Fergusson College.
