Hate Speech In The 1800s
P.S. completely harmless and legal, and the government wasn’t offended by it
Imagine receiving a card on valentine’s day (yes that used to be a thing. It still is but you’re too young or too single or both to experience it.) and it’s just straight up trolling you – making a meme out of your reality.
Valentine’s day and its eccentricities are often associated with love and romance. But things were a little different in the 1800s.
If you like someone, you send them a card. If they like you back, you too get one. But if they don’t, they will roast you medium rare into rejection. Not for the faint hearted Gen alphas of modern day society.
The phenomenon of sending cards that carried a negative connotation towards one’s looks/personality or profession is called “vinegar valentines.”
Imagine being greeted with a ruthless roast of your entire existence ON VALENTINE’S DAY! A caricature of your face, exaggerated in all the wrong places, staring back at you. It reads:
“Roses are red, violets are blue, no one in this world, will ever marry you.”
Ouch. Happy Valentine’s Day!
If you think modern dating is brutal, you clearly haven’t heard of vinegar valentines. In an age where left swipes and ghosting were actual terms with their meanings taken literally, people had a much more direct—and savage—way of rejecting unwanted suitors. These acidic little cards peaked in popularity during the 19th century, proving that pettiness and public humiliation have always been part of human nature. Vinegar valentines were designed to insult, mock, and flat-out ridicule their recipients. No one was safe.
These weren’t just reserved for romantic rejections. Oh no, the Victorians were real petty. Think of that one neighbourhood aunty who takes revenge on everything? Just multiply that pettiness into 100. Vinegar valentines targeted professions, personalities, and even entire lifestyles. Doctor? You might receive a card implying you were more likely to kill than cure. A spinster? Expect a drawing of a wrinkled old hag with a cat, warning you that you’d die alone. A woman who dared to show ambition? A sarcastic card might label you a “man-wannabe” with a future of loneliness. Men weren’t spared either—bachelors were ridiculed for being too old, too poor, or too lazy to find a wife. The crueler, the better.
What’s even more bizarre is that people actually paid money to send these insults. They didn’t just slide into your DMs with a rude remark—they took the time to select a card, write your name on it, and mail it. Some even went the extra mile by making sure the recipient had to pay the postage upon arrival, adding financial insult to emotional injury. Imagine paying to be roasted.
As hilariously savage as they were, vinegar valentines also reflected the rigid social expectations of their time. Many of these cards reinforced traditional gender roles, shaming women who were independent or men who didn’t fit the mold of a strong provider.
Women in the suffragette movement were especially targeted and trolled. Often accompanied by the words: “no vote, no kiss.”.
It was a preconceived notion by the society, particularly preached by men that those who participated in the suffragette movements were particularly unattractive. Women who believed this, actually sent anti-suffragette troll postcards to men in order to persuade them for marriage. Others just simply called them militants and ugly abusers. Although a small part of the whole vinegar valentine’s fiasco, this still sheds a light on how little men thought of women back in the 19th and 20th century.
But let’s be honest—while their messaging might be outdated, their sheer level of pettiness would have made them trending in today’s internet culture. If Victorian Twitter existed, vinegar valentines would have been the hottest meme trend.
So, the next time you’re feeling down about Valentine’s Day, just remember: at least no one is spending money just to publicly humiliate you via mail. Or worse, making you pay for your own insult. If anything, we should thank Gen Alpha’s fragile egos for ensuring that vinegar valentines are a thing of the past. Because let’s face it—getting left on read is painful, but at least it doesn’t come with a postage fee.
