Unseen, Unburdened: The Art of Living as Nobody
Imagine sipping coffee in a café with a view of the sea , in a remote town where nobody knows you. It’s a comforting feeling isn’t it , to be unknown? You can be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want to do.
Nothing you do will be out of character because your character itself isn’t formed yet. Like Oscar Wilde said, “ if you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it — that is your punishment, but if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs.” So in a world where everyone is clear about their 10 year plans , where everyone seems to know everything about you, what exactly is the comfort of being unknown?
To be unknown is a liberating feeling. It gives you the space to explore yourself free from constant judgement and scrutiny. It gives you the courage to step out of the box made by society and look at yourself through your own perspective. Imagine being a mathematician and trying your hand at painting or being a painter and trying to find joy in solving calculus, you get to explore yourself without having to limit your identity.
The human brain reacts to different situations in different ways. If you put yourself in a new situation then you get to meet a part of yourself that might have not even existed. There is no one to define your abilities for you. It’s a feeling where you can be everything yet nothing at the same time. You get to live for yourself instead of constantly trying to live up to society’s expectations. There is no one to put you down or shame you if your strokes aren’t correct or if you use the wrong formula. You get the privilege of learning as you live without having to think that you are sinning. Being unknown is a feeling as comforting as a warm blanket. But is everyone comfortable with this form of comfort?
We live in a world where fame is unconsciously associated with success. What is the use of one’s achievements if they cannot be used for bragging? What is the use of having talents if they are never seen? We all want to be applauded, to be praised, to be famous, to be successful, don’t we? As kids most of us were told to aim for perfection, to be the best of the lot. There was always the pressure to stand out from the crowd, to be extraordinary, to be the best ‘Sharmaji ka beta’ and ‘Mishra ji ki beti’. The idea of living solely for societal validation has been planted in the minds of a lot of people since childhood.
Imagine the pain that comes with constantly having to put your desires aside to pursue something you don’t even like just so someone doesn’t raise an eyebrow. Most adults due to this base their entire self worth on society’s opinions of them, succumbing to constant judgement and criticism. They put on a show for external validation and end up losing the chance to meet themselves. They find themselves giving into this idea of perfectionism and constantly chase the pressure of being in the spotlight.
Imagine constantly presenting a persona that pleases others but not having any personality of your own. Imagine chasing ‘likes’ to fill the void of being ignored and invisible. This is the reality for a huge chunk of people. For them being unknown might not be comforting but rather daunting as there is no one to please. The Ideas of being famous or getting validates and praised are not wrong at all. But is fame really worth it if you aren’t true to yourself?
The most beautiful poems in textbooks were written by anonymous poets. It felt as though the ‘ by anonymous ‘ written under the poem was a poem in itself. Anonymity gives one the power to be completely original. You can act on those intrusive thoughts and work on those crazy ideas without having to glance at anybody’s expression. You are free from the raised eyebrows, free from the sarcastic laughs and free from the snarky remarks.
Sipping coffee in a random café by the ocean is my ultimate life goal but just like most great things anonymity is not eternal. Humans are social creatures and nobody can escape the impact we have on each other. The comfort of being unknown too is bound by time. People are going to know you some day or the other because small talks, awkward social interactions and deep conversations are all a significant part of life. So what really matters at the end of the day is to learn to create that comfort regardless. In the end what I want to ask is in a world where we all are chasing the comfort of being known or unknown, how many of us are brave enough to actually be ourselves?
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Articulated By Ruta Patil, 1st year Student at Media and communication, Fergusson College.
