Why Do All Rom-Coms Think Grand Gestures Solve Everything?
(Spoiler: They don’t IRL.)
Today, we will talk about a genre we all love: rom-coms. We all have grown up watching rom-coms, hoping this kind of love will find us. Those sweet confessions under the sunset, dancing with your partner in the rain, flying to the other side of the world just to see your beloved, running through an airport (mostly without a ticket), fighting with your lover’s family, and so many more. These moments built a fantasy for the youth, making them believe that love would similarly find them. But in this economy? We doubt it would!
Be it Jab We Met, Chennai Express, Pretty Woman, or How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days, all these movies have resulted in us growing up with unrealistic expectations.
These movies are always about something grand. The hero fights with the heroine’s entire village just to prove himself. The protagonist makes a guy fall in love with her just for an article piece while the guy has his motives, and both end up falling in love for real. Makes you wonder, How do all these people fall in love like this?
These rom-coms often have grand gestures wherein the protagonist does something over-the-top for their partner or the other way around. In Just Like Heaven, Matt Ruffalo’s character, David, converts the terrace into a garden for Elizabeth (Reese Witherspoon), even though she doesn’t remember him and rejects him. (If you haven’t watched it, go watch it now!)
We also started believing in the whole “meant for each other” dream, like in Serendipity. Growing up, you watched 50 First Dates and Jab We Met (not forgetting Veer Zaara here). So obviously, you hate finding out that people don’t go to any length for their love in real life. Kind of disappointing!
These movies have these witty dialogues, ideal partners, grand gestures, and happy endings (an important element). So it feels like a slap on the face that none of this is real and it is just a part of the script!
One common thing in all these movies is their unwillingness to sort out the conflicts like a normal human being. Most of the time, we see big arguments and fights between the characters, but how do they solve them? One big kiss, a few tears in the rain (which you cannot even tell), and everything is back to being the perfect fairytale romance. Rom-com logic: No argument is big enough not to be resolved with a make-out session!
People often argue that these movies are a means to escape reality, so we shouldn’t bother much about these grand gestures. We should view these movies as fairytales only. But it is undeniable that these movies affect the minds of people. We see people mocking book girlies about their unrealistic expectations, but it’s the same for rom-com-obsessed people!
How many of you wanted to find yourself a man like Raj from DDLJ! You don’t have to lie. We know you did! These movies made us all delusional!
You know what really sticks with you? That trope in “10 Things I Hate About You.” The idea that someone could fall for you even when you’re being completely yourself – weird, awkward, and all – still feels a bit unbelievable.
One of the major downsides of these rom-coms would be these expectations that have been set in the minds of the youth. Everyone, both boys and girls, now has set their bars so high that now any type of courting feels low standard. People expect these highly unrealistic gestures from their partners.
If they are not met? Break up! A terrible breakup, and your name is ruined in front of their friends. Just imagine what would happen if someone did one of these grand gestures in real life!
Thinking about it now, most of the grand gestures that we see in these movies are all pointless. If someone tried to do all these in real life, the only thing that they would achieve is probably a restraining order.
What if someone came into your life like Bunny and then left, only to come back and fight with you over your guy friend? Would you stay? Didn’t think so.
Gen Z has the worst luck in terms of love. Everyone faces these high standards, trust issues and betrayals. It makes it hard to love. You see all these lovey-dovey gestures people do for each other, but then you look at the dating scene now; and you realize that it’s just a fantasy!
There is nothing wrong with liking to watch rom-coms, but it’s not fair if we expect someone to do all those grand gestures for us in real life. It’s an expensive world out here! Not everyone can afford to do all that.
Another thing that bothers me about these romantic acts is how anything lesser than this is considered as the “bare minimum”. What even is the “bare minimum”? It’s a good and a bad thing that people are not willing to settle for the “bare minimum”.
Scrolling on Instagram, you see all these edits or memes that often have the text — Aditya Kashyap would never, or I deserve a Rahul Raichand in my life!; under every other post.
Safe to say that these rom-coms have both made and broken a generation. You don’t have to stop watching these cutesy rom-coms! But be ready to be disappointed when you don’t find the same love in real life.
You just have to understand that not all things that you see on screen are true! We feel like maybe we should apologise for (kind of) destroying your happy world of rom-coms.
So, while those movie moments make your hearts flutter, maybe the real romance lies in the everyday stuff: a listening ear, a thoughtful text, simply showing up. Let’s keep enjoying the grand gestures on screen, but remember that genuine connection in real life? That’s a pretty grand gesture all on its own.
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Loved the article.
Maybe it is not expensive, but people are impatient nowadays over depth and more obsessed with moments. If they follow constructive communication and not replace it…maybe they are the one of the rarest things that can transcend the words…and value presence over performance.
Kudos and appreciations for all the iconic rom-com moments mentioned there…it was nostalgic ride with necessary reality check!!